Help, I need somebody
My reflections on this year’s mental health awareness week centred on not doing things alone, which stepping into working independently is something I am learning to be intentional and creative about. I need to remember to call on the support crew that is there for me.
When it comes to leading, working in a team and delivering healthcare - none of us can do it alone. We need each other and we need help from others. We don't have the skills, knowledge or strengths to do all that is required. We also don't have the time.
Getting help from others has many benefits, it builds others up, giving them an opportunity to do something new. It builds trust and shows you have the wisdom to know that you can't do it alone. It allows for other perspectives and approaches that can make it also more fun. Sharing the workload, the challenges and the joy of getting something done.
Having people to call on is one thing, asking for the help you need is another. I got curious this week about why asking for help can be a hard step to take. I know I need help and yet it’s taken me weeks to find the words to ask for it.
This article from HBR runs through the myths that can stop us from asking for the help we need.
Myth 1: You'll look bad
one study found no perceived difference in competence and I think it builds trust by showing vulnerability, you'll increase the physiological safety in your team by asking for help.
Myth 2: You'll be rejected
the research shows people will surprise us and be more likely to say yes than you imagine.
Myth 3: If someone agrees to help, they won't enjoy doing so
Again, research points to the 'warm glow' we get from helping others and the added benefit of social connection.
Myth 3 in particular was reinforced by Adam Grant with this post
From the HBR article
This is a time when we should feel more, not less, comfortable asking for and accepting help. There’s plenty of evidence that others are less likely to judge us and more likely to help us (and enjoy doing so) than we think.
Who can help you today, this week? Who can you connect with and work together on a project? How are you going to ask for the help you need? It won’t be as bad as you think, it will be a step towards connection, getting things done and spreading the load.
